A few years ago I was reading part of the OT (not sure where exactly) and I remember thinking "hmm I am just like the Israelite's". As a nation they would worship God and follow Him diligently...then they would somehow mess it up whether they chose not to trust God or whether they thought they knew best...or whatever...then God would threaten to punish them by leaving them or not allowing them to be His chosen people anymore..and then they would see their mistake and repent...and the cycle started again. Well....this is my life! This is all of our lives.
I'm new at Grace Community Church still and I don't know a lot of people yet. I look forward to getting to know people better and where they are at in life. One thing I have been feeling strongly is that G.C.C. (definitely including me) has not been allowing the Holy Spirit to really work. I think there are many great Christians at our church who love God and want to serve...but we're still in control. We still put ourselves before God. What's getting in the way? Pride is my guess. My journey at this church so far has taught me a lot. I'm learning it is time to let go of myself. A few weeks ago we had an alter call during the service...I knew it was happening ahead of time and I was dreading it. Why? Because I fear doing business with God. I don't want the tears to come and people to realize what I failure I feel like sometimes. I don't want to have to change my life in order to become more like Christ..because that takes work and giving up more of me..which is comfortable in this state. AND I was dreading the alter call because I have never been to a church that had them...and I didn't know what to expect. But God spoke and asked me to get on my knees. I had to humble myself in that moment and just worship...so I did. It was difficult and I felt dumb sometimes...but my love for God in that moment was more powerful and it was beautiful. Although it was an awkward experience...I loved it and I hope we do it more. I know I am still prideful and I still put myself first....but very slowly and very patiently, God is nudging me toward Him. I still don't always understand his love and grace...but I want to experience it more fully.
So what am I saying about our church? I'm saying that we have a wonderful family of people who love God and each other...bur my sneaking suspicion is that we are getting in the way of allowing the Holy Spirit to work. We're okay with our comfort and we need to get out of our comfort zones with God and truly allow Him to work.
This is my thoughts for the day. Until next time.
