I recently read a few blogs written by people have been extremely hurt by a major church in the United States. I'll quickly recap one of the stories I read and how the church responded (according to the ones hurt by this church)
A man in his mid 20s was in University and attending this church on a regular basis. He was very involved with serving at the church and involved with a small group. He was definitely a regular attender and engaged to a daughter of one of the elders. One weekend he made the mistake by cheating on his fiancée by kissing another woman. The Holy spirit convicted him and he confessed to his fiancée. He felt terrible. He also felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to tell his small group leader, so he did. He did not want to run from his mistake. The small group leader reported this back to one of the pastor's and not long after his confession did this man have to meet with many different pastors. He had meeting after meeting. Eventually he was asked to sign a contract saying that he will no longer serve in the church, that he won't date anybody in or out of the church and that he will not attend his small group. He said he would think about it. In the end he decided not to sign the contract and decided it would be best if he left that church and found a new one to attend. The church was angry at him and told him that he needed to sign the contract or otherwise he would be leaving in bad standing. The thing is he already confessed his sin, asked for forgiveness and felt terrible for his actions. He chose to leave and not sign the contract. His friend called him up later and asked if he heard about a letter. The man said no and his friend told him that the church wrote out a letter explaining the man's sin of cheating on his fiance and sent it to the members of the church! They asked the members to not talk with the man in hopes that he'd be shamed and come back to the church. He never returned.
After I read this story I was angry at that church. (I admit..not a great response). I was left thinking...how can this church (which is very popular and well known), treat people so poorly? I've had issues with some of their theology in the past..but they love Jesus and want to share the good news about his death and resurrection. According to this story, if it is true, this church abused this man in a sense. He already felt convicted for his actions, he confessed it to God, his fiancée and his small group leader. He asked for forgiveness. He endured many meetings with different pastors. Then they tried to have control of him. My biggest issue was them saying he couldn't date anybody in or outside of the church. Really? Anyway...my point isn't to write and be angry at this church...but this is something I need to work through.
This morning my friend posted another story of somebody who has also been abused by this church. Again, I don't agree with the church's actions...but this time I was left thinking..."Is it right for these people to share their stories online?" I understand they were hurt and want others to feel okay to share how they too have been hurt. But is this more productive for the Kingdom or less? I am not sure.
Every church makes mistakes. Again, although I do not agree with this church's actions, I think they were doing the best they could with what they believe the Bible is saying. So the question remains.....should the hurt people speak up against the church's wrong actions in order to try to help correct the church...OR should they remain quiet and allow God to do the convicting? I think it would be easier to answer this question if the church is small...but this is a mega church. So what do you do? I know this church has a lot of great things going on....and some not so great things.
In the end I've decided that I don't agree with that church's disciplinary actions but am left with being not sure whether those people should of spoken up so vocally or not. Perhaps it would of helped them to share their stories with a few close friends or family members. I really don't know.
Then I thought, people really believe that church is like a cult. If you don't do it their way, you're out. Which to an extent, seems true based on the stories I have read. It made me want to get on my knees and beg to God that Nathan and I will not teach anything untrue. That what is taught is from the Bible and that our interpretation of the Bible will be correct. I know that the Mega church bases their discipline on what the Bible teaches, but it comes off cult-like.
God I'm begging that you don't allow this to happen in our church. Let what is taught be true of your Word and may the interpretation be true. Please do not let us get it wrong. People are constantly hurt by many churches...please don't let this be our church. It seems impossible...because it is so difficult to please all...but may you come first, let it be all about you. Oh please. Don't let us be the cult of Jesus. Let us be the family of Him.
I'm really not sure why I wrote this post. I guess since I've read a few posts about that church I've felt confused by the whole thing. We're all family and yet we often disagree with one another. But our disagreements are not the issue, it is how we express our views to the other and how we treat the other. I've never been a fan of denominations...but I see why they exist. The point is....if you love Jesus and if you've confessed with your mouth that He is Lord and believed He was raised from the dead for your sins....then you are family.
