I'm not even sure where to begin or what to write. But I know I need to write to get my thoughts...ANY thoughts out on 'paper'.
People always feel invincible. Maybe as we get older we're smart enough (hopefully) to be safe and not do anything that could harm us. But we never really feel like we could die or that somebody we know could die.
We even read about people dying all the time in the news and the reality of death still feels foreign until somebody we know dies. Or until you yourself are close to death.
Today a wonderful friend passed away. He had been in the ICU for 2 weeks now. The doctors did say there was nothing left they could do. But because I believe in Jesus Christ and know that he still heals, I didn't care what the doctors said. I knew that if he got better that all the glory had to go to God. I am thankful for doctors but they are limited compared to God. I know God heals because I've seen it. I've experienced it.
So why didn't Kevin get healed? I don't know. I don't know why God sometimes heals and other times doesn't. And it hurts. Because I love Kevin and his wife Pam. It hurts because there will be a void in my life that nobody could fill but Kevin. He was one of the few people I know who is so unashamed of the Gospel and lived it out. He loved God with all he had. He gave everything he had to further the Kingdom.
I'm very upset because my friend passed away. I'm also upset because now his wife is a widow and his adult children are fatherless. I'm also upset because I don't understand. Why wasn't he healed God? What happened? Where were you?
I know it's not your fault God but I'm just confused. I just don't understand and maybe I never will on this side of eternity. But I know you are good. I know you've been with Pam and her kids through this upsetting 2 weeks. I know you will continue to be with her. I know she has found comfort in you. I know I find comfort in you.
Love you bud, rest in peace until I see you again.
Love Julie
