I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. But what troubles me greatly is that although I believe God forgives people, for some reason I struggle to believe God has forgiven me! Even though I know without a doubt I am a Christian, I walk in a way that still believes God harbors anger toward me, at least with certain sins. As if some sins are forgivable and others are not. Yet if somebody else said this exact same thing I'd think "That's ridiculous! Of course God has forgiven ALL of your sins." So why do I struggle to believe it for myself?
One time I was out with my mentor and friend and admitted this embarrassing fact about myself. Well it is embarrassing to me because I have been a Christian for 20+ years and it is one of the fundamental truths of our faith...and I STILL don't get it. Not to mention I went to church my whole life, a Christian high school, was involved in youth group, went to 2 different Christian Universities, a seminary AND am a pastor's wife...and I still don't get it. If I can't grasp such a simple concept, how will I grasp more? Anyway, her response was that, it's not like God looks down from Heaven and says about people: "you're forgiven, you're forgiven, you're forgiven, oh Julie Reimer?? Naw not you, you're forgiven, you're forgiven.." etc. Of course I know she is right, but it is hard to believe sometimes.
THEN I watched this video last week:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUUmhnOPBdE
Talk about life changing. The dumb part is that I have heard this my whole life...but didn't GET IT until now. How many times have I heard the Bible verse Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
In the youtube video, the pastor Matt Chandler makes a good point. It's not like Jesus went to the cross thinking we'd be perfect. He KNEW how messed up we'd be. He KNEW we are major screw ups. And like Matt says, THAT IS THE POINT OF THE CROSS! The cross isn't there for the perfect, it's there for idiots like us. You'd think I would of understood this years ago but I didn't. Well I understood the concept but didn't believe it. NOW that I get it, I can walk in the freedom Christ offers. I don't have to try to be perfect because that's not what the cross is about. No more striving. When the devil decides to plant lies in my head that God can't forgive me, I can rebuke them. When the devil says I'm not good enough for God, I can say that God wanted me in his family enough to send his son to die. I AM loved and I CAN walk in freedom. God DOES see me as perfect, spotless, blameless. Now to live in such a way that shows I believe it.
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
Lukewarm and Unwilling to Change?
I wrote a post awhile ago about lukewarm Christians. I re-listened to the sermon that inspired that blog. The sermon can be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBhqrtMqrv8
It is by Francis Chan entitled "Lukewarm & Loving It". Every Christian should spend 40 minutes listening to this sermon.
Daily I struggle to be on fire for God. I have all day to do whatever I want because I am not working or in school. I often think "Oh I could read my Bible" and then I spend time on the internet instead. Or I think "I could spend a good chunk of time in prayer right now" and instead I watch TV. I don't have to wonder, I know I am lukewarm.
A few things scare me about this.
First, what scares me is Revelation 3:14-18. It says: “To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see."
Francis Chan brought up a good point in his sermon. He says "People will ask 'Well can't I be lukewarm and still a Christian?'" and Chan responds, "Does wretched pitiful poor, blind and naked seem like descriptive words for followers of Christ?" "I once was blind but now I'm blind"???
This terrifies me. What else terrifies me is the verses in Matthew 7:21-23.
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
Does this scare anybody else? Am I really saved? No wonder the Bible says work out your salvation with fear and trembling (Phil 2:12)
What else scares me? Is that I will likely wake up tomorrow and be the exact same person as I am today...lukewarm and okay with it. Shouldn't I do whatever it takes to be on fire for God? I'm not talking about works salvation either. I'm talking about begging God to set me on fire. Maybe I need to spend every waking minute begging God. Perhaps I need to fast until I am on fire. What also scares me is that I don't want to do all of this. Clearly I'm not as dedicated to God as he deserves. My EVERYTHING should be about God. It shouldn't be about trying to find time for God. My life should BE God. Why do we have this so backwards?
I can count on 2 hands the amount of people I have met who are passionately in love with God...who are so sold out, they'd do anything for God. Why can I count less than 10 when I have met hundreds of Christians? No wonder God wants to throw us up....we desire money and things and status and popularity and good looks and fun and comfort more than Him. We desire TV time and internet time and sports and relaxation and vacations and parties more than Him.
We want enough of God to feel comfortable but not too much of God to be changed. We keep Him at arms length until we need Him. I do it and so do you.
Are you willing to do whatever it takes to be on fire for God? Would you give up EVERYTHING for Him? Would you sell your house? Would you move to a remote area of the world to share the Gospel? Would you be okay if He took away your whole family? What about all of your friends? Would you give up the internet if He asked you to? How's about TV? Would you fast for 48 hours? Would you be willing to be beaten to death for Him? What about if He gave you terminal cancer...could you still praise Him and tell others about how amazing He is?
I think we forget as Christians that Jesus said "deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow me" (Luke 9) - that means YOU no longer matter. Pick up your cross means...YOU must die to your own will. We can't have it both ways. We can't half-heartedly follow God. You're in or you're out. There is no middle ground. Choose.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBhqrtMqrv8
It is by Francis Chan entitled "Lukewarm & Loving It". Every Christian should spend 40 minutes listening to this sermon.
Daily I struggle to be on fire for God. I have all day to do whatever I want because I am not working or in school. I often think "Oh I could read my Bible" and then I spend time on the internet instead. Or I think "I could spend a good chunk of time in prayer right now" and instead I watch TV. I don't have to wonder, I know I am lukewarm.
A few things scare me about this.
First, what scares me is Revelation 3:14-18. It says: “To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see."
Francis Chan brought up a good point in his sermon. He says "People will ask 'Well can't I be lukewarm and still a Christian?'" and Chan responds, "Does wretched pitiful poor, blind and naked seem like descriptive words for followers of Christ?" "I once was blind but now I'm blind"???
This terrifies me. What else terrifies me is the verses in Matthew 7:21-23.
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
Does this scare anybody else? Am I really saved? No wonder the Bible says work out your salvation with fear and trembling (Phil 2:12)
What else scares me? Is that I will likely wake up tomorrow and be the exact same person as I am today...lukewarm and okay with it. Shouldn't I do whatever it takes to be on fire for God? I'm not talking about works salvation either. I'm talking about begging God to set me on fire. Maybe I need to spend every waking minute begging God. Perhaps I need to fast until I am on fire. What also scares me is that I don't want to do all of this. Clearly I'm not as dedicated to God as he deserves. My EVERYTHING should be about God. It shouldn't be about trying to find time for God. My life should BE God. Why do we have this so backwards?
I can count on 2 hands the amount of people I have met who are passionately in love with God...who are so sold out, they'd do anything for God. Why can I count less than 10 when I have met hundreds of Christians? No wonder God wants to throw us up....we desire money and things and status and popularity and good looks and fun and comfort more than Him. We desire TV time and internet time and sports and relaxation and vacations and parties more than Him.
We want enough of God to feel comfortable but not too much of God to be changed. We keep Him at arms length until we need Him. I do it and so do you.
Are you willing to do whatever it takes to be on fire for God? Would you give up EVERYTHING for Him? Would you sell your house? Would you move to a remote area of the world to share the Gospel? Would you be okay if He took away your whole family? What about all of your friends? Would you give up the internet if He asked you to? How's about TV? Would you fast for 48 hours? Would you be willing to be beaten to death for Him? What about if He gave you terminal cancer...could you still praise Him and tell others about how amazing He is?
I think we forget as Christians that Jesus said "deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow me" (Luke 9) - that means YOU no longer matter. Pick up your cross means...YOU must die to your own will. We can't have it both ways. We can't half-heartedly follow God. You're in or you're out. There is no middle ground. Choose.
Friday, 29 June 2012
Everything Seems Meaningless
I'm beginning to feel more like Solomon...except without the power, wealth, wisdom, etc.
This year has been a big year for me. In terms of success, I guess people would say it has been good. I completed my masters, I compiled a book that has been published and I'm pregnant. Over and over people keep saying "you must be so happy" or "you must be so proud". But at the end of the day, although I am happy about these accomplishments, they all seem meaningless. Why? Because they don't matter in the end. When I die, who cares if I completed my masters or not. Who cares if I compiled a book or not. I don't. Please don't get me wrong, I am thankful for these opportunities and thankful God has allowed me these opportunities and has used me in these times, they still mean nothing if I don't focus on God.
Today also seems meaningless. Not because of what I just wrote about, but because of another reason. I just read a story about a lady in her early 40s from Lesotho Africa who passed away. I don't know her, but I still had the opportunity to hear about her last days. Now that she has passed away, her 3 children are orphans. One child is older, in his 20s....but he is long out of the house. Next is the 12 year old daughter who will have to do her best to take care of her 7 year old sibling. And all the while she struggles to do so, we are concerned about money, stuff and what people think about us.
Nathan and I are in the end process of buying a house. I'm really excited to own a house, though the financial part of it scares me since I am not working right now....and likely won't be until baby is one or just before. This is a really nice house. I'm not saying it's a mansion or anything....it could use a ton of updates...but it is still very nice. I essentially am signing away my life financially for the next 25 years and am slave to the bank. I hate this. A 12 year old girl across the world has to play mom to her sibling and attempt to find food while I live in a big house and don't have to wonder where my food comes from. Today seems meaningless.
I know we can't all be missionaries and we all don't have a ton of money to send over to Lesotho or anywhere else in the world. I feel overwhelmed by the story I read because I feel useless. I don't have a lot of money to send, I don't feel called over there to help physically...and I feel powerless and ashamed. I know I can pray to God but it still doesn't feel like enough. Is this because I'm not giving enough credit to my God or because I am controlling and want to do something more than prayer? I don't know...maybe both.
All I know is that today I am healthy, I have food to eat, I have energy to do house chores, and I have clean running water. Heck my cat has cleaner water than 1/7th of the world. This makes me sad. Take time today to thank God for what you have....because we often forget. If your tap water doesn't taste the best,..thanks God anyway...because it is clean and keeping you alive. If you have to eat something that you don't like all that much, be thankful. If you have to do chores today and don't want to (or have to go to work and don't want to), be thankful. Some people are bed ridden and wish they could work or do house chores.
With a heavy heart, I say today is meaningless. All I can do is find hope in God...because there will always be poverty, suffering, orphans, sickness. We try and try and try to rid of it...but all we can do is think of life after death....otherwise we will be overwhelmed like I feel today.
This year has been a big year for me. In terms of success, I guess people would say it has been good. I completed my masters, I compiled a book that has been published and I'm pregnant. Over and over people keep saying "you must be so happy" or "you must be so proud". But at the end of the day, although I am happy about these accomplishments, they all seem meaningless. Why? Because they don't matter in the end. When I die, who cares if I completed my masters or not. Who cares if I compiled a book or not. I don't. Please don't get me wrong, I am thankful for these opportunities and thankful God has allowed me these opportunities and has used me in these times, they still mean nothing if I don't focus on God.
Today also seems meaningless. Not because of what I just wrote about, but because of another reason. I just read a story about a lady in her early 40s from Lesotho Africa who passed away. I don't know her, but I still had the opportunity to hear about her last days. Now that she has passed away, her 3 children are orphans. One child is older, in his 20s....but he is long out of the house. Next is the 12 year old daughter who will have to do her best to take care of her 7 year old sibling. And all the while she struggles to do so, we are concerned about money, stuff and what people think about us.
Nathan and I are in the end process of buying a house. I'm really excited to own a house, though the financial part of it scares me since I am not working right now....and likely won't be until baby is one or just before. This is a really nice house. I'm not saying it's a mansion or anything....it could use a ton of updates...but it is still very nice. I essentially am signing away my life financially for the next 25 years and am slave to the bank. I hate this. A 12 year old girl across the world has to play mom to her sibling and attempt to find food while I live in a big house and don't have to wonder where my food comes from. Today seems meaningless.
I know we can't all be missionaries and we all don't have a ton of money to send over to Lesotho or anywhere else in the world. I feel overwhelmed by the story I read because I feel useless. I don't have a lot of money to send, I don't feel called over there to help physically...and I feel powerless and ashamed. I know I can pray to God but it still doesn't feel like enough. Is this because I'm not giving enough credit to my God or because I am controlling and want to do something more than prayer? I don't know...maybe both.
All I know is that today I am healthy, I have food to eat, I have energy to do house chores, and I have clean running water. Heck my cat has cleaner water than 1/7th of the world. This makes me sad. Take time today to thank God for what you have....because we often forget. If your tap water doesn't taste the best,..thanks God anyway...because it is clean and keeping you alive. If you have to eat something that you don't like all that much, be thankful. If you have to do chores today and don't want to (or have to go to work and don't want to), be thankful. Some people are bed ridden and wish they could work or do house chores.
With a heavy heart, I say today is meaningless. All I can do is find hope in God...because there will always be poverty, suffering, orphans, sickness. We try and try and try to rid of it...but all we can do is think of life after death....otherwise we will be overwhelmed like I feel today.
8 “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher.
“Everything is meaningless! ”
“Everything is meaningless! ”
The Conclusion of the Matter
9 Not only was the Teacher wise, but he also imparted knowledge to the people. He pondered and searched out and set in order many proverbs. 10 The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true.
11 The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails —given by one shepherd. 12 Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them.
Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.
13 Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
Monday, 30 April 2012
The Lukewarm Christian
I feel sick to my stomach. Between an online sermon I recently listened to and a book I am reading, I am convicted. The sermon talked about lukewarm Christians and how God spits them out. The speaker Francis Chan discussed how as Christians we should do everything we can to make sure we are on fire for God. This does not mean lukewarm....this means on fire. Then I began to read a book that Nathan received for free. It was sitting around and I thought I should spend less time online and more time reading. The book is titled 'The Road to Reality' by K.P. Yohannan. I am not sure if I love or hate this book. At first when I was reading it I felt like the author was awfully harsh toward North American Christians (he didn't grow up in N.A.) then I realized that I was uncomfortable with the book not because I felt like the author was too harsh on us, but because I was convicted. He makes some amazing points on Christians in our country and I for one am convinced he is right.
I know there are some people who are passionate about God in North America. But I'm still convinced most of us have it wrong. Am I willing to die for Christ? Am I willing to give up everything I own and everyone I love if God asked me to? Am I willing to even talk to my neighbour about God? Would I still love God if everybody in the world hated me? Would I still praise God if something tragic in my life happened?
I often think of Abraham. God asked him to sacrifice his son. If God asked me to sacrifice my husband, could I do it? I wish the answer was yes, but I'm afraid the answer is no.
So what is the deal with most of us being lukewarm? Are we okay to follow God as we want and ignore other parts as we so desire? We have NO clue about real persecution and yet Christ says we will be persecuted. So if we're not being persecuted...why not? Christ promised persecution so does this make him a liar? No. Somehow we've gotten off track. I think we all mean well and we do love God...but somewhere along the line, we began to do things how we wanted and not Christ.
Why is it that so many of us don't hear God? Why do we know so much about God but the Holy Spirit seems like the crazy drunk uncle who shows up at family gatherings? (I stole that from the book...I think it was too good to not share) When we get uncomfortable, we assume it must not be God working. Well if you read the Bible, God did all sorts of crazy things that today Christians would say is of the devil.
I for one am only a lukewarm Christian and I am ashamed. It's too easy to be one in this country and I can't handle it any longer. I don't know what this means for me....but the journey is just beginning. I will carry on and read this book and I need to seek God. REALLY seek God.
I know there are some people who are passionate about God in North America. But I'm still convinced most of us have it wrong. Am I willing to die for Christ? Am I willing to give up everything I own and everyone I love if God asked me to? Am I willing to even talk to my neighbour about God? Would I still love God if everybody in the world hated me? Would I still praise God if something tragic in my life happened?
I often think of Abraham. God asked him to sacrifice his son. If God asked me to sacrifice my husband, could I do it? I wish the answer was yes, but I'm afraid the answer is no.
So what is the deal with most of us being lukewarm? Are we okay to follow God as we want and ignore other parts as we so desire? We have NO clue about real persecution and yet Christ says we will be persecuted. So if we're not being persecuted...why not? Christ promised persecution so does this make him a liar? No. Somehow we've gotten off track. I think we all mean well and we do love God...but somewhere along the line, we began to do things how we wanted and not Christ.
Why is it that so many of us don't hear God? Why do we know so much about God but the Holy Spirit seems like the crazy drunk uncle who shows up at family gatherings? (I stole that from the book...I think it was too good to not share) When we get uncomfortable, we assume it must not be God working. Well if you read the Bible, God did all sorts of crazy things that today Christians would say is of the devil.
I for one am only a lukewarm Christian and I am ashamed. It's too easy to be one in this country and I can't handle it any longer. I don't know what this means for me....but the journey is just beginning. I will carry on and read this book and I need to seek God. REALLY seek God.
Saturday, 21 April 2012
The Battle
I'm reminded today that as Christians we fight a battle EVERY day. We are constantly in a war. Do we battle people? No. We battle against the dark spiritual forces.
Ephesians 6:12 - For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
I heard a sermon once where the pastor talked about physical war. He stated that almost every parent (religious in any manner or not) would likely pray for safety for their son/daughter who was in war. People understand the dangers of physical war and the reality that in war, your life can be lost so easily. So many people pray for safety in hopes that their child will return to them safely because they love that child.
Why do many of us forget to pray for our loved ones in spiritual battle? Do we understand that the ones we love can also die? Or maybe they are already dead. But not physically, rather spiritually. DO WE GET IT? I certainly don't. I think the devil has done a nice job of distracting us. When somebody is going through something major, we pray. We definitely pray when somebody is sick or injured. We pray when a need needs to be met. But what about their spiritual health? Do we pray for that? I SHOULD be praying for my loved ones daily because their spiritual health is on the line. Christians are not immune to addictions and problems. So why aren't we on our knees daily?
There are a zillion Bible verses I can quote to prove we need to be praying.
We're supposed to pray without ceasing.
Ephesians 6:18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
But Bible verses mean nothing if we ignore them.
Tonight there is a MAJOR event going on in Kitchener for teenagers from K/W, Cambridge and Guelph. The event is called Epicentre. It is put on by the Billy Graham association. The event is expected to draw in a few thousand teens from the area. Will Graham (Billy's grandson) will be speaking at the event. Many of the teens going are already Christian but many of them are bringing their non-Christian friends. You better believe that there is a major battle going on today. The Devil will do whatever his sneaky mind can think of to screw this up. But guess what....my God is bigger. I think the Devil will win a few battles, but God is going to win the war. Maybe some kids who should be coming will somehow not be able to anymore. But there WILL be kids tonight who dedicate their lives to Christ for the first time. There will be kids who re-dedicate their lives to Him.
So I ask you to pray. We need to be praying ALL day. Maybe people don't believe in spiritual warfare because it doesn't seem so obvious in Canada. Maybe that is the devil's trick! But perhaps what appears to be the lack of spiritual warfare is in fact us losing the battle because we turn af blind eye.
Spiritual warfare is very real. I can only imagine how hard the angels are fighting...and so I too will fight,through worship to God and through prayer and petition. Will you fight with me? Not by sword but on your knees, begging God for these kids soul's.
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
Prayer
I am not a prayer warrior...though I wish I was. I remember a few years ago when my husband's grandma passed away people kept saying how she was a prayer warrior and that it is a sad day in the world because a great warrior was lost. I remember at the time thinking I wanted to be a prayer warrior but was never intentional about becoming one.
My journey with prayer is almost just beginning. Of course I've been praying for as long as I have remembered but I think God is slowly bringing my out of my 'infancy' of prayer and slowly bringing me to being an 'adult' prayer person. If this makes sense to you. This post is going to be long...bear with me.
When I was in high school or just after I attended a 24/7 prayer room with my friend and her family for an hour and I loved it. I loved the creativity of it and that I could see how other people were praying and growing, it was awesome. I bought a book called "Red Moon Rising" which is about the start of the 24/7 prayer rooms and how God brought them about...very cool...I suggest this book to anybody. Then after years went by, I forgot about the movement.
Then a few months ago I saw that same friend on Facebook was attending another 24/7 prayer room at her new church. I remembered the first room and got excited. I was reasonably new at my church and wasn't sure if they would go for a prayer room idea or not. Once the idea came to my mind, I was SO excited that day. I thought....of course! This is exactly what we need. Who couldn't pray more? Who doesn't want to pray in a creative way? But it seemed like at the time God was saying "Not Yet". WHAT? What do you mean not yet? How is there a certain time for a prayer room? They are a good thing...shouldn't we do it ASAP? Nope...not yet! So I brought the idea up to my lead pastor and he was on board but we knew it wasn't time.
Then December 2011 rolls around and I see that beginning in January we are starting a new series at church on prayer! It was like the green light came on and suddenly it was time to plan the prayer room. I hope and pray as it is going on this week that people's lives will be changed. Ya I like to take the glory for stuff...but I know this isn't right. I need God to work on my heart though...because I am selfish in this way! Anyway the prayer is going on as we speak...I desire for God to touch and move people. I pray people are lead to confession, praise, humbleness, adoration, etc. Hoping this is a time of revival for some people. I certainly am no stranger to a dry relationship with God. We need revival at our church!
So in terms of prayer....a while ago I started listening to a sermon series online about Habakuk. The pastor talked a lot about prayer. I read through Habakuk and realized that he and God have a back and forth conversation. I desired this...so I began to write. I don't know enough to say the 100% what I wrote was a conversation between God and me....or whether I just made it all up....but the conversation was about prayer and how I need to be on my knees praying for non-believers and those who are believers but are spiritually dry. It seemed like it could be from God! So I made a list of all of the non-believers that are in my extended family and divided up the people into 4 groups and so I prayed for 1 group a day and rotated through the 4 days. I did this for awhile and it was work. To prayer warriors it would be nothing...but for me it was very difficult. I didn't necessarily pray for a long time. If I had 5 people on the list I may only pray for 15 minutes total. But it was difficult. Why? Because it felt useless and it felt like I always prayed the same thing for them each time I prayed. It also took time and took concentration...and I'm really not all the disciplined. But I enjoyed praying for those people. Knowing that I was called to do so and knowing that God desired to have them come to know him. Then somewhere along the line I stopped doing it...and I really need to start again.
Other parts of my prayer journey....a few months ago (Oct 2011), I attended a prayer conference in Hamilton. The conference was about 24/7 prayer in Canada. I met some amazing prayer warriors who put me to shame. One lady I met from Welland is awesome. She is a young (mid 30s), single mom. She was going to school but dropped out to pray all day long. God called her to intercession...and so she obeyed. She doesn't have an income and yet somehow God always takes care of her needs. She is encouraging to me and I am proud to know her. I am excited to see how God is using her and how he will use her to bring revival to Welland....it's coming! If I recall correctly, Welland was prophesied over and a revival is coming. I hope it is soon.
Lastly, a while ago I was feeling like God is preparing me to be a prayer warrior. I chuckle at the idea because even 5 minutes of prayer is difficult for me! But I know God can do whatever He pleases and if I need to discipline myself...well I will just have to do it. Anyway I told Nathan my thought but I don't think I told anybody else. Then recently I was prophesied over saying that by the time I am 34 my knees will have scars or something along those lines to show that I was on them a lot praying for others. THEN somebody else came up to me and said they feel God is nudging them to mentor me...but specifically in prayer. How amazing. God has been transitioning me nicely. He didn't just throw me into it, but is taking me there at a pace I am comfortable with. I still wonder specifically what this will look like...but for now this is how it is. I'm nervous for the process, but also excited.
Well that is my prayer journey...perhaps this blog is a little all over the place...oh well. I blame my tiredness :P God is working...we have to let him.
Come Lord Jesus Come. Let it rain....open the floodgates of Heaven and let it rain!
My journey with prayer is almost just beginning. Of course I've been praying for as long as I have remembered but I think God is slowly bringing my out of my 'infancy' of prayer and slowly bringing me to being an 'adult' prayer person. If this makes sense to you. This post is going to be long...bear with me.
When I was in high school or just after I attended a 24/7 prayer room with my friend and her family for an hour and I loved it. I loved the creativity of it and that I could see how other people were praying and growing, it was awesome. I bought a book called "Red Moon Rising" which is about the start of the 24/7 prayer rooms and how God brought them about...very cool...I suggest this book to anybody. Then after years went by, I forgot about the movement.
Then a few months ago I saw that same friend on Facebook was attending another 24/7 prayer room at her new church. I remembered the first room and got excited. I was reasonably new at my church and wasn't sure if they would go for a prayer room idea or not. Once the idea came to my mind, I was SO excited that day. I thought....of course! This is exactly what we need. Who couldn't pray more? Who doesn't want to pray in a creative way? But it seemed like at the time God was saying "Not Yet". WHAT? What do you mean not yet? How is there a certain time for a prayer room? They are a good thing...shouldn't we do it ASAP? Nope...not yet! So I brought the idea up to my lead pastor and he was on board but we knew it wasn't time.
Then December 2011 rolls around and I see that beginning in January we are starting a new series at church on prayer! It was like the green light came on and suddenly it was time to plan the prayer room. I hope and pray as it is going on this week that people's lives will be changed. Ya I like to take the glory for stuff...but I know this isn't right. I need God to work on my heart though...because I am selfish in this way! Anyway the prayer is going on as we speak...I desire for God to touch and move people. I pray people are lead to confession, praise, humbleness, adoration, etc. Hoping this is a time of revival for some people. I certainly am no stranger to a dry relationship with God. We need revival at our church!
So in terms of prayer....a while ago I started listening to a sermon series online about Habakuk. The pastor talked a lot about prayer. I read through Habakuk and realized that he and God have a back and forth conversation. I desired this...so I began to write. I don't know enough to say the 100% what I wrote was a conversation between God and me....or whether I just made it all up....but the conversation was about prayer and how I need to be on my knees praying for non-believers and those who are believers but are spiritually dry. It seemed like it could be from God! So I made a list of all of the non-believers that are in my extended family and divided up the people into 4 groups and so I prayed for 1 group a day and rotated through the 4 days. I did this for awhile and it was work. To prayer warriors it would be nothing...but for me it was very difficult. I didn't necessarily pray for a long time. If I had 5 people on the list I may only pray for 15 minutes total. But it was difficult. Why? Because it felt useless and it felt like I always prayed the same thing for them each time I prayed. It also took time and took concentration...and I'm really not all the disciplined. But I enjoyed praying for those people. Knowing that I was called to do so and knowing that God desired to have them come to know him. Then somewhere along the line I stopped doing it...and I really need to start again.
Other parts of my prayer journey....a few months ago (Oct 2011), I attended a prayer conference in Hamilton. The conference was about 24/7 prayer in Canada. I met some amazing prayer warriors who put me to shame. One lady I met from Welland is awesome. She is a young (mid 30s), single mom. She was going to school but dropped out to pray all day long. God called her to intercession...and so she obeyed. She doesn't have an income and yet somehow God always takes care of her needs. She is encouraging to me and I am proud to know her. I am excited to see how God is using her and how he will use her to bring revival to Welland....it's coming! If I recall correctly, Welland was prophesied over and a revival is coming. I hope it is soon.
Lastly, a while ago I was feeling like God is preparing me to be a prayer warrior. I chuckle at the idea because even 5 minutes of prayer is difficult for me! But I know God can do whatever He pleases and if I need to discipline myself...well I will just have to do it. Anyway I told Nathan my thought but I don't think I told anybody else. Then recently I was prophesied over saying that by the time I am 34 my knees will have scars or something along those lines to show that I was on them a lot praying for others. THEN somebody else came up to me and said they feel God is nudging them to mentor me...but specifically in prayer. How amazing. God has been transitioning me nicely. He didn't just throw me into it, but is taking me there at a pace I am comfortable with. I still wonder specifically what this will look like...but for now this is how it is. I'm nervous for the process, but also excited.
Well that is my prayer journey...perhaps this blog is a little all over the place...oh well. I blame my tiredness :P God is working...we have to let him.
Come Lord Jesus Come. Let it rain....open the floodgates of Heaven and let it rain!
Saturday, 28 January 2012
The Cult of Jesus?
I recently read a few blogs written by people have been extremely hurt by a major church in the United States. I'll quickly recap one of the stories I read and how the church responded (according to the ones hurt by this church)
A man in his mid 20s was in University and attending this church on a regular basis. He was very involved with serving at the church and involved with a small group. He was definitely a regular attender and engaged to a daughter of one of the elders. One weekend he made the mistake by cheating on his fiancée by kissing another woman. The Holy spirit convicted him and he confessed to his fiancée. He felt terrible. He also felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to tell his small group leader, so he did. He did not want to run from his mistake. The small group leader reported this back to one of the pastor's and not long after his confession did this man have to meet with many different pastors. He had meeting after meeting. Eventually he was asked to sign a contract saying that he will no longer serve in the church, that he won't date anybody in or out of the church and that he will not attend his small group. He said he would think about it. In the end he decided not to sign the contract and decided it would be best if he left that church and found a new one to attend. The church was angry at him and told him that he needed to sign the contract or otherwise he would be leaving in bad standing. The thing is he already confessed his sin, asked for forgiveness and felt terrible for his actions. He chose to leave and not sign the contract. His friend called him up later and asked if he heard about a letter. The man said no and his friend told him that the church wrote out a letter explaining the man's sin of cheating on his fiance and sent it to the members of the church! They asked the members to not talk with the man in hopes that he'd be shamed and come back to the church. He never returned.
After I read this story I was angry at that church. (I admit..not a great response). I was left thinking...how can this church (which is very popular and well known), treat people so poorly? I've had issues with some of their theology in the past..but they love Jesus and want to share the good news about his death and resurrection. According to this story, if it is true, this church abused this man in a sense. He already felt convicted for his actions, he confessed it to God, his fiancée and his small group leader. He asked for forgiveness. He endured many meetings with different pastors. Then they tried to have control of him. My biggest issue was them saying he couldn't date anybody in or outside of the church. Really? Anyway...my point isn't to write and be angry at this church...but this is something I need to work through.
This morning my friend posted another story of somebody who has also been abused by this church. Again, I don't agree with the church's actions...but this time I was left thinking..."Is it right for these people to share their stories online?" I understand they were hurt and want others to feel okay to share how they too have been hurt. But is this more productive for the Kingdom or less? I am not sure.
Every church makes mistakes. Again, although I do not agree with this church's actions, I think they were doing the best they could with what they believe the Bible is saying. So the question remains.....should the hurt people speak up against the church's wrong actions in order to try to help correct the church...OR should they remain quiet and allow God to do the convicting? I think it would be easier to answer this question if the church is small...but this is a mega church. So what do you do? I know this church has a lot of great things going on....and some not so great things.
In the end I've decided that I don't agree with that church's disciplinary actions but am left with being not sure whether those people should of spoken up so vocally or not. Perhaps it would of helped them to share their stories with a few close friends or family members. I really don't know.
Then I thought, people really believe that church is like a cult. If you don't do it their way, you're out. Which to an extent, seems true based on the stories I have read. It made me want to get on my knees and beg to God that Nathan and I will not teach anything untrue. That what is taught is from the Bible and that our interpretation of the Bible will be correct. I know that the Mega church bases their discipline on what the Bible teaches, but it comes off cult-like.
God I'm begging that you don't allow this to happen in our church. Let what is taught be true of your Word and may the interpretation be true. Please do not let us get it wrong. People are constantly hurt by many churches...please don't let this be our church. It seems impossible...because it is so difficult to please all...but may you come first, let it be all about you. Oh please. Don't let us be the cult of Jesus. Let us be the family of Him.
I'm really not sure why I wrote this post. I guess since I've read a few posts about that church I've felt confused by the whole thing. We're all family and yet we often disagree with one another. But our disagreements are not the issue, it is how we express our views to the other and how we treat the other. I've never been a fan of denominations...but I see why they exist. The point is....if you love Jesus and if you've confessed with your mouth that He is Lord and believed He was raised from the dead for your sins....then you are family.
A man in his mid 20s was in University and attending this church on a regular basis. He was very involved with serving at the church and involved with a small group. He was definitely a regular attender and engaged to a daughter of one of the elders. One weekend he made the mistake by cheating on his fiancée by kissing another woman. The Holy spirit convicted him and he confessed to his fiancée. He felt terrible. He also felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to tell his small group leader, so he did. He did not want to run from his mistake. The small group leader reported this back to one of the pastor's and not long after his confession did this man have to meet with many different pastors. He had meeting after meeting. Eventually he was asked to sign a contract saying that he will no longer serve in the church, that he won't date anybody in or out of the church and that he will not attend his small group. He said he would think about it. In the end he decided not to sign the contract and decided it would be best if he left that church and found a new one to attend. The church was angry at him and told him that he needed to sign the contract or otherwise he would be leaving in bad standing. The thing is he already confessed his sin, asked for forgiveness and felt terrible for his actions. He chose to leave and not sign the contract. His friend called him up later and asked if he heard about a letter. The man said no and his friend told him that the church wrote out a letter explaining the man's sin of cheating on his fiance and sent it to the members of the church! They asked the members to not talk with the man in hopes that he'd be shamed and come back to the church. He never returned.
After I read this story I was angry at that church. (I admit..not a great response). I was left thinking...how can this church (which is very popular and well known), treat people so poorly? I've had issues with some of their theology in the past..but they love Jesus and want to share the good news about his death and resurrection. According to this story, if it is true, this church abused this man in a sense. He already felt convicted for his actions, he confessed it to God, his fiancée and his small group leader. He asked for forgiveness. He endured many meetings with different pastors. Then they tried to have control of him. My biggest issue was them saying he couldn't date anybody in or outside of the church. Really? Anyway...my point isn't to write and be angry at this church...but this is something I need to work through.
This morning my friend posted another story of somebody who has also been abused by this church. Again, I don't agree with the church's actions...but this time I was left thinking..."Is it right for these people to share their stories online?" I understand they were hurt and want others to feel okay to share how they too have been hurt. But is this more productive for the Kingdom or less? I am not sure.
Every church makes mistakes. Again, although I do not agree with this church's actions, I think they were doing the best they could with what they believe the Bible is saying. So the question remains.....should the hurt people speak up against the church's wrong actions in order to try to help correct the church...OR should they remain quiet and allow God to do the convicting? I think it would be easier to answer this question if the church is small...but this is a mega church. So what do you do? I know this church has a lot of great things going on....and some not so great things.
In the end I've decided that I don't agree with that church's disciplinary actions but am left with being not sure whether those people should of spoken up so vocally or not. Perhaps it would of helped them to share their stories with a few close friends or family members. I really don't know.
Then I thought, people really believe that church is like a cult. If you don't do it their way, you're out. Which to an extent, seems true based on the stories I have read. It made me want to get on my knees and beg to God that Nathan and I will not teach anything untrue. That what is taught is from the Bible and that our interpretation of the Bible will be correct. I know that the Mega church bases their discipline on what the Bible teaches, but it comes off cult-like.
God I'm begging that you don't allow this to happen in our church. Let what is taught be true of your Word and may the interpretation be true. Please do not let us get it wrong. People are constantly hurt by many churches...please don't let this be our church. It seems impossible...because it is so difficult to please all...but may you come first, let it be all about you. Oh please. Don't let us be the cult of Jesus. Let us be the family of Him.
I'm really not sure why I wrote this post. I guess since I've read a few posts about that church I've felt confused by the whole thing. We're all family and yet we often disagree with one another. But our disagreements are not the issue, it is how we express our views to the other and how we treat the other. I've never been a fan of denominations...but I see why they exist. The point is....if you love Jesus and if you've confessed with your mouth that He is Lord and believed He was raised from the dead for your sins....then you are family.
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