While You Were Still a Sinner....

I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. But what troubles me greatly is that although I believe God forgives people, for some reason I struggle to believe God has forgiven me! Even though I know without a doubt I am a Christian, I walk in a way that still believes God harbors anger toward me, at least with certain sins. As if some sins are forgivable and others are not. Yet if somebody else said this exact same thing I'd think "That's ridiculous! Of course God has forgiven ALL of your sins." So why do I struggle to believe it for myself?

One time I was out with my mentor and friend and admitted this embarrassing fact about myself. Well it is embarrassing to me because I have been a Christian for 20+ years and it is one of the fundamental truths of our faith...and I STILL don't get it. Not to mention I went to church my whole life, a Christian high school, was involved in youth group, went to 2 different Christian Universities,  a seminary AND am a pastor's wife...and I still don't get it. If I can't grasp such a simple concept, how will I grasp more? Anyway, her response was that, it's not like God looks down from Heaven and says about people: "you're forgiven, you're forgiven, you're forgiven, oh Julie Reimer?? Naw not you, you're forgiven, you're forgiven.." etc. Of course I know she is right, but it is hard to believe sometimes.

THEN I watched this video last week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUUmhnOPBdE

Talk about life changing. The dumb part is that I have heard this my whole life...but didn't GET IT until now. How many times have I heard the Bible verse Romans 5:8

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

In the youtube video, the pastor Matt Chandler makes a good point. It's not like Jesus went to the cross thinking we'd be perfect. He KNEW how messed up we'd be. He KNEW we are major screw ups. And like Matt says, THAT IS THE POINT OF THE CROSS! The cross isn't there for the perfect, it's there for idiots like us. You'd think I would of understood this years ago but I didn't. Well I understood the concept but didn't believe it. NOW that I get it, I can walk in the freedom Christ offers. I don't have to try to be perfect because that's not what the cross is about. No more striving. When the devil decides to plant lies in my head that God can't forgive me, I can rebuke them. When the devil says I'm not good enough for God, I can say that God wanted me in his family enough to send his son to die. I AM loved and I CAN walk in freedom. God DOES see me as perfect, spotless, blameless. Now to live in such a way that shows I believe it.