The good, the bad and the ugly

God is so good. Let me explain His goodness. Today I had a really angry day toward my children. We were all over tired and I was having a difficult time getting anything done. Every time I tried to be productive, the kids were fighting, they needed something or my attention. My patience was very thin. We fought over going outside. Jace didn't even want to walk with me on the sidewalk (which has never happened before) because he was angry we went on a walk and that I wouldn't use a stroller. It was a rough rough day.

Here comes the gracious part. My friend came over tonight and told me a story about a girl she encountered who was hurting herself. This girl was saying that '"they wanted her to punch herself'." and so she did. She continually punched herself until my friend and her friends could pray over her and declare God's love over her. Anyway, as my friend shared this story, I was thinking about how ugly Satan is. To get people to harm themselves is so sad. I just thought of the word ugly. This poor girl, who is a new Christian, is being tormented by Satan and wanting her to harm herself. Then I thought about my day today. How ugly my behaviour was! No I didn't physically harm myself or my kids, but my words I am sure hurt. Of course I did apologize to my kids (numerous times for numerous outbursts) and thankfully my kids forgive me and don't hold it against me, but it still has to hurt. So ugly. So ugly of me to let Satan use me to harm my children. My young, impressionable children. Of course they're not innocent, they're not perfect, but yet they're still so innocent. So little. So mouldable. 

I thought briefly about when I'm an ugly parent and when I'm a loving parent. Do I want to parent like Satan would parent or like God would parent. Of course like God So loving. So gracious. So forgiving. So gentle. So patient. So involved. What a good Daddy he is. THAT is who I want to be like. Thankfully that IS who I am. Now that I'm a Christian and a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come. I don't have to yell at my kids or get angry. God is so good.