The Sleeping Will Wake Up

I looked all around me and saw that most people were sleeping.

"What shall we do Lord, they're all sleeping."


"Do not be concerned about them. I am waking them up one at a time and building my army."


"How can this be Lord? We're not passionate for you. How will we ever be passionate for you in this society? Nobody seems to care."


"Through prayer and petition I will wake them up. Get on your knees and begin to pray for them. Weep for them. Believe that they can and will be passionate for me. You must believe it."


"God I'm afraid I won't believe. It seems impossible."


"Nothing is impossible with me my dear."


"What if nobody turns to you God?"


"They will one at a time, but it will take time. You must be patient and not give up."


"I'm not the right person Lord, I'm just like them...not passionate."


"Just listen and obey and I will take care of the rest."


"God there is too many!"


"Be patient, be consistent."

The End of Religion?? The Quest to KNOW God

I'm not sure if the movement of calling Christianity a relationship versus a religion is a more recent thing or if it has been around a long time. I guess it doesn't matter. A few years ago I realized that Christianity is not a religion but more of a relationship. It is also a faith.


In the past few months I have been feeling very spiritually dry. I would try different techniques to try to get closer to God...such as: have a set Bible reading plan, listen to the Bible on CD, listen to online sermons and write out Bible verses so I can memorize them. Although these are all good things, none really brought me closer to God. I haven't really felt satisfied in life or felt joyful in a long time. I know this is because I feel so distant from God. 


I went to a prayer room at the beginning of December and felt so angry at God because of this distance I feel. I cried out to God very honestly in my journal. "WHERE ARE YOU" I would shout in written form. Then I saw a Bible verse on a box that felt like God was giving it directly to me: 


John 16:22 -So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy 


This was exciting! It was as if God was telling me that this is a difficult time spiritually but that it will get better. I was very excited about this.


Time went on and I still felt spiritually dry. Of course, this is my fault since I wasn't seeking out God. Then Nathan and I got together with some friends for prayer. I wanted to bring up feeling spiritually dry but we just started to pray and I didn't get a chance to share. However, when my friend was about to pray, she started to tell me that God wants me to let go of what I am carrying and to just follow him. Hmmm how did she know? I truly believe God was telling her to tell me this. I often feel guilty for my sins, often don't feel good enough to come before God and to just be. I have a hard time accepting his forgiveness and a hard time accepting that he loves me. This message was freeing...because although I know these things...that I am loved, that I don't need to feel guilty, that I can let go of my past sins, etc...this message was more personal. 


Fast forward to today. I'm still not satisfied with how dry I feel. I often long to know God intimately but for some reason have a hard time pursuing him. So as I was thinking about this it hit me.....I am religious. I don't have a deep relationship with God because I still "do" Christianity as if it were a religion...and THAT is why I feel dry. That is why I don't want to read my Bible. That is why I dread going to church some weeks. Because it all feels like a religion. It's something I feel I "have" to do as opposed to "want:" to do. But now I have my answer. I now know why I dread all of these things. It's one step closer to knowing God more intimately and one step away from religion. 


All I have to say about religion is that it is tiring and a lot of work. I avoided God because I hate religion. Now that I realize this...I'm on a quest to KNOW God. To REALLY know him. I've been frustrated lately because I have a hard time hearing God. So I ask "How can I have a relationship with God if it feels one sided?" Well I'm on a mission for this to change. I don't want religion anymore...I want relationship!


My friend wrote a book titled "The End of Religion" - I read it a few years ago and enjoyed it...but I can't really remember it...perhaps now is a good time to read it again!


Well, there is my heart spilled out on the internet for everybody to read. Sometimes in order for me to understand what is going on in my heart, I need to write (or type) it out. It's embarrassing to share this with the world, especially since I am in a volunteer leadership position to lead those younger than me spiritually...but perhaps somebody out there is feeling what I am and can breathe a sigh of relief knowing they aren't the only ones feeling this.


So begins me journey to KNOW God.

The Vision - Locked Up!

This past weekend I went to a prayer conference. On the first night I was there we had a time of worship before the speaker came on. As I was singing, I looked around me and noticed that almost everybody was super into the music. People's eyes were closed, their hands were raised, they were sometimes singing their own stuff, one lady blew a kiss up to Heaven and I was amazed at how how into it everybody was. It didn't seem like anybody was ashamed to be singing or ashamed to just praise God as they wanted. Watching everybody, I became jealous. Sometimes when I sing in church or other places where there is worship music, I feel awkward dancing. I may feel awkward raising my hands or doing whatever I feel in the moment. But I know this isn't because of other people...this is because of me. I fear what people will think of me. I know realistically it shouldn't matter...but I still care. At no point has anybody ever made me feel stupid for how I worship...but I still fear that somehow I will look or feel stupid.

So back to Friday evening. As I watched everybody worshiping around me with such freedom I was left jealous. Then God gave me a vision. In the vision everything was black and I could see Jesus standing in front of me. I looked down and my ankles were locked together and my wrists were locked together. I couldn't dance or lift my hands if I wanted to. I didn't like being locked up, so I asked Jesus to unlock me. He did...and then a few seconds later I was locked up again. This cycle happened a few times. Jesus would unlock me, I'd be free momentarily and then I'd be locked up again. I asked him why I was locked up again and then the vision panned out and I could see a bunch of people beside me also locked up. We were all locked up the same.  Then it hit me....I'm locked up because everybody beside me is locked up and I was choosing to be locked up just like them. Jesus wasn't locking me up and neither were the people beside me. I was choosing to be locked up because everybody beside me was locked up. We could still worship God and be with him, but we weren't free to move around. Then I looked the other way and saw a bunch of people dancing and having a great time. They were having a party. I wanted to be like them, so I asked God to unlock me again. He did, but within a few seconds I was locked up again. II'm stuck like this until I choose not to be locked up. Until I choose not to care what the other locked up people think, I will be stuck like this because of my own fault.

So the question is.....are you locked up and worshiping God or are you free to party and worship God? If you're locked up...it's because of your own choice. The people in the vision were still worshiping God, but they weren't having nearly as much fun as the people who were free.

The god of Technology

If somebody is claiming to be a Christian...they are claiming that Jesus is Lord and that he is the only true God. But why do we serve the god of technology? I'm not talking about the fact that we use technology...that is not wrong. But what is wrong is that we are slaves to technology. Think about it...

Answer these questions:

1) How many hours a day do you spend in front of a computer (not counting for school work or your job)?

2) How many hours do you spend with God...through prayer, worship and reading the Bible?

Time alone shows our hearts. I wake up and almost daily I immediately go on Facebook. Is this wrong? No. But I am doing it before I even speak to God some days. 

Again I'm not saying technology is wrong...but I'm saying my heart puts technology first. I am a slave to Facebook, email, internet games, TV, music, etc....when I should be a slave to Jesus. Maybe I should go on a technology fast... except for school work of course. 

I'm wondering how many of us REALLY spend time with God daily? If you follow somebody...you have to know them...and to know them...you have to spend time with them. Sunday church and mid-week programs is not enough. We can learn about God...but we can learn about movie stars or musicians too. I can learn about Lady Gaga in the news and I can read about her...but I will never know her. I don't want to do this with God. I don't want to know about him...I want to KNOW Him. 

The god of technology has taken over and the ironic thing is that Christians don't even know they are serving it. You're in or you're out...you can't have two masters....so choose. The God of the Bible or technology?

In or Out?

Over the past few months I have been challenged to think about my walk with God and have heard numerous times...that as a follower of Christ, you're either all in or all out. This middle ground business shouldn't exist. Yet somehow I think most of us in North America are middle ground. Comfortable. Do we actually pick up our cross daily? I don't. 


I'm wondering how many of us are just observing Christianity and signed up to be a comfortable Christian and how many of us are actual followers of Christ...because although to be a follower we need to confess with our lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead..you will be saved. But what about turning the other cheek? What about picking up your cross daily? How IN are we? I think I sit on the fence often..and I want off. I don't want to be comfortable...I don't think we're called to be comfortable. 


Time to pick up my cross. Will you follow him or will you just observe and sit on the fence. You have to choose. You can't be on the fence...you're in or you're out. The choice is yours. Don't say you're in if you're really not.

Are We Desperate?

A few years ago my Mom and I were discussing whether people are desperate for God or not. The conversation likely came from listening to the song This is the Air I Breathe. The line in the song I am discussing says:


And I'm desperate for you
And I'm lost without you...


I'm not sure I can usually sing those lines and mean it fully. Do people need God? I would say yes for sure...however in North America we seem to have our needs met..and so why God? We may not be desperate to rely on God for food or water or shelter...but we had better realize we need to be desperate for more of Him. We ARE lost without Him. What is the point of life without Him?


I would argue most of us are not desperate for God. Would you disagree with me? Let me put it this way...somebody who is walking on a frozen lake and falls in and is swept under the ice....they are desperate to get out from under the ice and to get to a spot where they can get out. They actually are desperate for air. What does this desperation look like? It looks like the person doing whatever they can to save their life. This may mean trying to smash open the ice, or swimming to an opening in the ice to get out. I don't know for sure...but I assume most people who fall in wouldn't just decide "oh well, I guess I'm going to die." but would do everything they can to save their life before they die. Desperate. 


Are you catching the picture? Maybe you think we don't need to be desperate. Maybe being a comfortable Christian is enough. I think this Psalmist got it right...check this out:


Psalm 79:8
Do not hold against us the sins of past generations; may your mercy come quickly to meet us, for we are in desperate need.


What is it about us not being desperate? Is it because we don't have to really rely on God for our daily needs?  I'm not going to starve anytime soon....I may need groceries but I likely have food for a few days still. Not desperate. But what about spiritually? What has the church done wrong in teaching us that we don't have to be desperate? Do we even need to be desperate? I would argue yes...but I would love to hear what other people have to say. Why are we okay with being comfortable when the Bible says we shouldn't be?? 


Thoughts?

I'm Just Like The Israelite's

A few years ago I was reading part of the OT (not sure where exactly) and I remember thinking "hmm I am just like the Israelite's". As a nation they would worship God and follow Him diligently...then they would somehow mess it up whether they chose not to trust God or whether they thought they knew best...or whatever...then God would threaten to punish them by leaving them or not allowing them to be His chosen people anymore..and then they would see their mistake and repent...and the cycle started again. Well....this is my life! This is all of our lives.

I'm new at Grace Community Church still and I don't know a lot of people yet. I look forward to getting to know people better and where they are at in life. One thing I have been feeling strongly is that G.C.C. (definitely including me) has not been allowing the Holy Spirit to really work. I think there are many great Christians at our church who love God and want to serve...but we're still in control. We still put ourselves before God. What's getting in the way? Pride is my guess. My journey at this church so far has taught me a lot. I'm learning it is time to let go of myself. A few weeks ago we had an alter call during the service...I knew it was happening ahead of time and I was dreading it. Why? Because I fear doing business with God. I don't want the tears to come and people to realize what I failure I feel like sometimes. I don't want to have to change my life in order to become more like Christ..because that takes work and giving up more of me..which is comfortable in this state. AND I was dreading the alter call because I have never been to a church that had them...and I didn't know what to expect. But God spoke and asked me to get on my knees. I had to humble myself in that moment and just worship...so I did. It was difficult and I felt dumb sometimes...but my love for God in that moment was more powerful and it was beautiful. Although it was an awkward experience...I loved it and I hope we do it more. I know I am still prideful and I still put myself first....but very slowly and very patiently, God is nudging me toward Him. I still don't always understand his love and grace...but I want to experience it more fully.

So what am I saying about our church? I'm saying that we have a wonderful family of people who love God and each other...bur my sneaking suspicion is that we are getting in the way of allowing the Holy Spirit to work.  We're okay with our comfort and we need to get out of our comfort zones with God and truly allow Him to work.

This is my thoughts for the day. Until next time.

My Confessions

So I listened to a sermon today and I really enjoyed what the pastor was saying. He was preaching from Ephesians 2:19-22:


Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, ²⁰ built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. ²¹ In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. ²² And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.


The pastor really got into teaching about us knowing Jesus and not just being religious. He also talked about the importance of the Bible and how it can help us do the right thing, especially in tempting times. 


What I liked the most was hat he said about knowing Jesus vs. religion. He says that many people will read what the Bible says about life in Christ is one way and our expectations of life in Christ another way. Many experience religion but few experience Jesus. Religion does not bring about freedom, peace and life...but rather brings frustration and weight. There is no peace is just showing up to church and pursuing moral goodness. I can testify to that. Why are most of us coasting? No wonder we hide what's really going on. We're taught what we should and shouldn't do...and then feel bondage due to lack of Jesus.


 We need a firm foundation in our life, which the above verses talk about the prophets and apostles (and in some versions it talks about the law *AKA The Bible*) and of course Jesus the corner stone. Which could be the piece in a building which is on the ground and in the corner...OR it could be the very middle piece at the top of the arch. You remove that piece and the whole arch will crumble. Nothing matters in Christianity if we are being religious as opposed to knowing Jesus.


Now comes my confession. I often feel guilty and like a bad Christian because I struggle with spending time with God. I may read my Bible on occasion...but am I REALLY spending time with God? I don't think so. I don't like the heaviness I feel from religion. But it's my fault for choosing religion over choosing Jesus. I try to control my walk with God and by doing so it has hindered me. I fear showing God who I really am which is absurd since he knows me better than I do. I fear getting close and seeing what is wrong with me or seeing what God wants me to change. If I keep God at a distance I can still be a Christian but how I want to be. There is no joy in this. Although I would say I am a reasonably happy person...I lack joy. I lack the pure joy found in Christ. I also lack the freedom of grace. I know I am forgiven...my head knows it..but I don't let my heart feel it. Instead I allow Satan to control my heart. I feel guilty, weighed down, and lacking joy. I have a hard time freely praising God because I have put up walls. Why do I fear showing who I really am?


I want Christ. I want all of him. I don't want the religion of Christianity...I want Jesus. I want him and his perfectness and his backwards kingdom. I want his love, I want his grace and I want his joy. I want to walk with hi daily and not feel guilty. I want to experience the freedom he has given me. I want to feel the grace he has bestowed on me. I don't want to hide who I am anymore. One of my biggest pet peeves is when a conversation goes like this:


Person A: "Hi, how are you?"
Person B: "Good and you?"
Person A: "Good"


Really? Are you REALLY good? You're not struggling with anything? You don't have any doubts or fears or sadness? If not...that's fantastic! But let's be honest...sometimes life sucks and we need to admit it and come to each other for comfort and help. I need to be real with God and I need to be real with you. 


Confession #2 - At church on Sunday I started to cry because I was having a bad day. I was not able to praise God through the music...so I felt discouraged. Then I was having a hard time focusing on the sermon..so I thought I should read the Bible instead...but I couldn't focus on that either. So at that point I was annoyed, frustrated and feeling guilty. My heart was hard and I looked around and wondered how many people were feeling like me? Who else was annoyed? Who else was frustrated? Who else was discouraged? Who else felt like a terrible Christian? I suspect more than I think. Sometimes I think church in general is cheesy. I don't just mean my church...I mean church in general. But what I find beautiful is people coming together, being real with each other and doing life together....REAL church. How beautiful. I know Sunday mornings are good and so much good can come out of them...so God will hopefully be working on my heart so that I don't see Sunday mornings as cheesy. I still think church is good for sure..please don't get me wrong....but I see so much more beauty in people being real and doing life together. On Sunday I wanted to hide the fact that I was having a bad day. How embarrassing to cry in church...and to not know a lot of people. It's hard to be real with others..because it makes us vulnerable. I think God can work with people in any sort of state but I think he would see people being vulnerable as something beautiful. How much easier is it to meet with God when we make ourselves vulnerable.


It is my desire to be truthful with where I am at in life. I even fear writing this blog because I mention that I think Sunday morning church is cheesy sometimes. Will this get me in trouble or will it not look good because I am a "pastor's wife"? I don't know...all I know is that I don't have it all together, I make mistakes, life sucks sometimes, I often feel like a terrible Christian and I wonder how God can use me. 


I want ALL of us to be truthful and vulnerable. I want this for everybody at GCC. We don't have it all together...so let's not pretend we do. I am sure some people are honest and vulnerable and I think that is amazing. But for the rest of us who don't...who ask hard questions, who question God's existence, who question his grace, who question his goodness, who question his motives, who question his actions, who question why life sucks sometimes (or maybe all the time for some people), then why don't we question together. We can struggle together, learn together and grow together. We are the body of Christ. 


Although I doubt many youth will read this...I want you to know that Nathan and I want to be vulnerable with you. If life sucks, we want to tell you. If life is amazing, we want to tell you. If we suck at spending time daily with God, we want to tell you. If we are growing in our faith in leaps and bounds, we want to tell you. We hope that by us being transparent...you will feel the courage to be transparent with us..and if you do, I thank you because it takes courage to ask questions or admit when there is temptations and failures. 


That's it for today...if you read all the way through...congratulations! I didn't anticipate this being so long. Until next time..

God Spoke + Remember

These past few days have been interesting in terms of what God is doing in my life and what he is teaching me.

I'll start with yesterday. I received an encouraging phone call from somebody from my church. He called to encourage me because he knew I had been discouraged lately. I really appreciate when people care enough to call and ask how I am doing and be genuine when they are asking...really cool. Anyways the call was encouraging but the best part of the call was when the man started to talk like he was God....I recognize this sounds weird..so hear me out. Throughout the call he was talking like himself saying things about God...such as "Your Father loves you and doesn't condemn you" etc etc.(this is a paraphrase...I can't remember he exact wording)  But at one point the man on the phone started to talk as he was God...(not on purpose or trying to be like God...it just WAS God talking to me through this man). He started to talk as if he was the Father.saying things like "I sent my son to die for you and I have written your name in the book of like" etc etc. (again a paraphrase) Like...no joke...God spoke to me through this man. I wonder if this is making any sense...??? Anyway...when this was happening I was crying because God is so loving and encouraging. All I could do was thank him and tell him I loved him too (silently...not to the man on the phone). I felt so blessed tat God chose me to talk to....wow! How do you come down from a high like that? Maybe this sounds crazy to some of you...but I know it was God and it was so beautiful. I can't wait to meet him face to face one day :)  *Hopefully the caller doesn't mind me posting this..and if he does I apologize!*

On to today. I listened to a sermon that was really good. It was based on Ephesians 2:11-13, which says:

Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called “uncircumcised” by those who call themselves “the circumcision” (which is done in the body by human hands)— ¹²remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. ¹³ But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.


These verses may not seem too significant...but they are! Paul is asking the Ephesians to remember to when they were not Christ followers...but why? He wants them to remember what life was like before Christ because it sucked and they need to remember that so they can see how great they have it now with Christ in their life. Also it is easy for us to because proud and to look down on others...but if we remember what life was like before Christ...we can see that we are no different from others. We're all sinners...we've all followed the devil at one point in time..nobody can boast. We can't even boast that we are Christ followers because we didn't save ourselves...Christ saved us. So we cannot boast. Remembering is a good thing because it humbles us and it makes up appreciate what Christ did for us. 


Sometimes I forget what Christ saved me from. Since I became a Christian at a young age...I don't remember what life was like without Christ.I don't know the loneliness and hopelessness of it. But in the sermon, Matt had a good point. Sometimes when kids are separated from their parent(s) while in a store, the child panics. They start crying and are anxious to see their parent(s) again. When the kid finally sees their parent(s), they immediately stop crying, smile and run toward their parent(s). This was us. We were lost...now we're found. I now pray that God will show me what life was like before him whether in my own life or through other things in this world (such as a child being separated from their mom or dad for a short period of time) I think we often forget why Christ died and what He saved us from. 


So remember because you didn't have hope..and now you do.

Made Alive - Really Knowing Him

If I were to guess, I would say most Christians do not have an exciting relationship with Christ. We allow our relationship to be stagnant. Does this describe your relationship with Christ? If it does..you are not alone! But it also means you need to make some changes. In the sermon I listened to today, Matt (the pastor) says he thinks people have a stagnant relationship with God because they don't take risks. We don't need to take risks if we look at our relationship with God as Sunday mornings and small groups, or Sunday morning and youth group...or church events...or whatever. If we are not daily walking with God, of course our relationship will be stagnant. If we're not sharing God with others...we're not taking risks.

A few weeks ago I taught the sr. high youth group about the need to spend time with God daily. I admitted to the youth that this is a struggle for me...to spend time with God daily. But every where I go, somehow somebody is talking about he importance of spending time with Go daily...and when I hear the same thing over and over..I conclude that God is trying to teach me something. So I taught this lesson to the youth too. I decided I can't teach on something and not follow through with it myself. So almost every day I have been reading the Bible, spending time in prayer and listening to sermons. (I find sermons help teach me the Bible..especially when I am confused). Already I can see what God is teaching me..and he is using me too!

There is a prayer in Ephesians 1 that I think is so beautiful. This is what it says:

¹⁵ For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, ¹⁶ I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. ¹⁷ I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit^[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. ¹⁸ I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, ¹⁹ and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength ²⁰ he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, ²¹ far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. ²² And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, ²³ which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.


I am still working on my prayer life. I do pray daily but I struggle with praying regularly for the people around me. I am always amazed when somebody tells me they pray for me often or even daily. I definitely feel blessed but also guilty because I have not returned the favour. Anyway, I can't pray the prayer above exactly because the first line....¹⁵ For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God’s people, ¹⁶ I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.  Let's be honest...I have stopped giving thanks and I do forget people in my prayers. So I'm not going to sit here and say I pray this prayer..because I don't. However, I love the message in this prayer and I want it to become my prayer. For my family, friends, the youth, Nathan, myself, the church...everybody who knows Jesus. Think if this prayer was answered....how alive we would be in our relationship with Jesus. 


This is what amazes me...the same power that raised Jesus FROM THE DEAD..is the same power we have in and through the Holy Spirit. Just think...if we lived walking daily with God...and if we listened to what he was saying and if we took risks...and if we loved God and if we were honest with where we are at in life and if we stopped judging and gossiping and loved people...this world would be turned upside down. It happened when the disciples lived, it happened when Paul lived and it can happen now. Some people think being a Christian is boring....but I would disagree. If you can hear some of the stories of how God has worked and how God has used his followers TODAY and not just in Bible times...it's SO exciting. 


Anyway...I've blabbed on or awhile. I hope I'm being made alive and you are too. May we REALLY know Him....and not just of Him.

Awakening? + In Him

Today a man from our church called to encourage Nathan and I. Although there is a lot he said, one thing I would like to highlight is that he said an awakening is happening and the tides are turning. He then gave us this song to listen to:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_J9BI6AFO0


I'm not positive exactly what he means...whether he is talking about us individually, our church, our country or the world...but whatever it means...it sounds exciting. 


I still feel as though my walk with God is not the most exciting. I don't hear him often and when I read my Bible..sometimes I don't get much out of it. However I am trying to be diligent in following God and I think he honours that. Being at our new church has been an exciting experience for us. I have seen God work in many ways I have not seen him work before. Seeing God work makes me excited and want to follow him even more. Today I wonder why God would use me at all...but I feel privileged to know he wants to. I just need to remember to rely on him and when things get done it is by God's working and not my own. I also feel as though I can't do anything and have to remember that if I allow God to work, then I can be used. What a delicate balance between being humble and also being confident in God. 


On another note,I listened to part 2 of the Ephesians series today..


Today we looked at Ephesians 1:11-14 which says: 


¹¹ In him we were also chosen,^[a] having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, ¹² in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. ¹³ And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, ¹⁴ who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.


Hmm this sermon was a little more confusing than yesterdays as are the above verses. These were the main points Matt had:


1) In Him, the old passes away and the new shall come (based on 2 Corinthians 5:17)
2) We are made alive in Christ
3) There is no condemnation for us because of God
4) We are presented perfect before God because of Jesus
5) We are God's possession
6) God marks us and seals in us the Holy Spirit 


I am going to put the above verses again but in the Message version. I realize the Message is not a proper translation...but it made a lot of sense to me....here it is:



^11-12It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.
 ^13-14It's in Christ that you, once you heard the truth and believed it (this Message of your salvation), found yourselves home free—signed, sealed, and delivered by the Holy Spirit. This signet from God is the first installment on what's coming, a reminder that we'll get everything God has planned for us, a praising and glorious life.


I found this version helpful. I love that God had thought of us before we were even born. I also like that in Christ we have great plans..."we find out who we are and what we are living for". I think a lot of people wonder why they exist and what their purpose is...THIS IS YOUR PURPOSE!! I just want to shake people sometime and shout in their faces....but of course that would land me in jail...so I can't do that. I gotta laugh at the line above "signed, sealed, delivered" because of that song..anyway back on track...what amazes me is that the gift of the Holy Spirit is only our first gift....more is still coming! Which would obviously be being in Heaven with God face to face..


Anyway I don't have much else to say...I didn't find today's sermon or reading too life changing or thought provoking. Matt Chandler was quite excited by these verses though..so that's good. I guess I need to ponder more by what it means by being God's possession and also the fact that God thought about me and chose me before I was even born. 

God's Eternal Love (Ephesians 1 - 3)

So I started to read Ephesians the other day..and I'm not going to lie...I got pretty frustrated after the first two chapters. Sometimes I wish Paul would just say what he is saying..more plainly! Why does he have to be so complicated? Anyway...despite being very frustrated..I decided to press on and I will finish the book. However, I don't want to read a book and not really understand what has just been read..so I decided to listen to a sermon online by Matt Chandler (http://fm.thevillagechurch.net/sermons?kw=ephesians&type=sermons&match=any/) Somehow there are 29 sermons on Ephesians alone...that's a lot considering there are only 6 chapters in the book...I may be in this book longer than the 6 days I expected to be!


Anyway..thanks to Matty C., I now have a better understanding of what the verses are talking about...at least chapter 1:3-6 so far. I semi-understood it before..but now it makes more sense. Here is what 1:3-6 says:


 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. ⁴ For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love ⁵ he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— ⁶ to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.


Here's what I got out of the sermon about these verses.


1) Before God created the world, he loved everyone of us. Before he made the earth and the sun and the moon and animals and dirt, etc...he loved us. 


2) We are not mistakes. A lot of people are born into bad situations and may have been a surprise to their parents or not wanted by their parents or whatever...but everybody is wanted by God because he created them.


3) God can't love us based on what we do in life (or don't do) because he loved us before we were born. We can't win his love if we don't exist. Therefore, God's love must go beyond us and how we live our lives.


4) Many Christians think that God is up in Heaven waiting to judge us..and as soon as we make a mistake he is right there ready to judge. But Matt gave an illustration that I liked. It goes something like this:


When children are learning to walk, they get up...take a step or two and fall down. The parents don't sit there and yell at the kid for not being able to walk on their first try, instead they cheer and celebrate because their child is making progress. God is the same. We don't fall down only to be yelled at by God. Instead he is here to pick us up and help us.


So those are the lessons I learned from Ephesians and from Matt Chandler. It's nice to have online sermons to listen to when I am feeling confused. It is also nice to have people in my life that I can talk to about this too.


I just want to say one more thing...on point 4 from above. I often feel really dumb having to go to God to admit that I made the same mistake again. Sometimes I won't even pray because I feel so guilty. But recently I had a really cool God experience where I felt (without a doubt) God's love and gentleness. It wasn't guilt or shame or punishment...it was restoring and loving and kind and gentle...and simply beautiful. I think God is much more tender than we realize. I had an awesome moment of experiencing that love and I look forward to more in the future. 


More on Ephesians another day...

Life by the Spirit....Gal 5 & 6

So I finished reading Galatians today. Again I was not a huge fan of the book...I feel like it could be summed up a lot more quick than how much Paul writes...but hey that is just me. I guess I just felt that it was very repetitive.

Galatians 5 is what hit me the most in this whole book. There are two lists mentioned (which I will type out) because they are important. The first list is the acts of sinful nature, which are:

sexual immorality
impurity
debauchery
idolatry
witchcraft
hatred
discord
jealousy
fits of rage
selfish ambition
dissensions
factions
envy
drunkenness
orgies

The second list is if you live by the Spirit, which are:

love
joy
peace
patience
kindness
goodness
faithfulness
gentleness
self control

I've heard this list read many times which is titled "the fruits of the spirit". I have it memorized but I'm not sure I've ever stopped to really ponder the list. I guess that is something I can do today. To ask myself the question...how much I am living by the first list and how much by the second list?

Another question I need to ponder is how much am I living for God because I love Him and how much am I living for Him because I feel like I have to and was taught to. (So living by the Spirit VS living by the law..) I guess we live more by the law than we realize.

Many times I do things because I feel like I am supposed to as a Christian. Again it comes down to my heart and if I do "good things" because I feel like I have to...it is useless. If I do good things because that is Christ living through me then it is good because I am doing it in love. Just thinking a lot lately about my heart and if I am doing things for the right reasons or not. Also pondering what living by the Spirit really means.

So that sums up Galatians...I know I only started at chapter 3...onto Ephesians!

Oh one more note...it is because of the book of Galatians that Martin Luther wrote his 95 Theses....he realized that we are justified only by faith in Jesus Christ and not by works.

PS - somebody pointed out that they can't make comments on here...not sure how to fix that...anybody know?

Galatians 4 - We create our own laws..

Galatians 4 is a little bit interesting to me. The whole chapter is Paul explaining to the Galatians that they are free in Christ and not because of the law. Again this concept does not always seem applicable in our time since we did not live by law like they did back in the these times...but we have been taught Christ from the beginning...and yet somehow we still make a law for ourselves.

Many Christians are caught up in doing what is right VS what is wrong. I'm not saying we should choose to sin because we have freedom in Christ...we shouldn't abuse our freedom. However what I am saying is that I think a  lot of Christians make up rules like the Pharisees did. Then when Christians do something 'wrong', people look down on them and judge them. For example, I do not think it is right for a Christian to get drunk. The Bible is clear that Christians should't get drunk. However, if a Christian goes to a bar to socialize with friends, I think that is fine. But I know some Christians would look at that person and would judge them. Why is this? Where do these rules come from? We make up rules like the Pharisees did in order to keep ourselves as pure as possible but then in the moment we could miss great opportunities. 

This reminds me of the story of the good Samaritan (Luke 10). In the story it is a priest and a Levite who both see the man who was beaten up and they don't help him. They miss doing God's work because they are too concerned with following the law. It always comes down to our hearts and our motives. God put the law in place to lead everybody to Christ. We think we need to follow all of these rules in order to be good Christians...but really all we need to do is know Christ and he will show us how we should act.

Just a side note: Galatians 4 does not talk about the Galatians making up their own laws but them following the laws from the OT....but when reading it, it reminded me of Christians today making up their own laws since we don't really follow the laws of the OT like the Galatians did.

Random Thoughts and Galatians 3

Recently I have been learning about the importance of spending time with God daily. Growing up as a Christian I know this concept, but its such a struggle for me to do. I make every excuse in the world as to why I need to do something else rather than read the Bible. But I know that if I don't read the Bible...it will be difficult to know Jesus personally. So I am on a journey..to read my Bible daily and to spend time with God and to really know Him.

The first change I made in my life today is by putting a trigger in it. I read on the internet that if you want to change habits then putting a trigger in your life is a good idea. So if I wan to read the Bible everyday and make it stick then I should have a trigger that reminds me that I need to read my Bible. I used to go on the computer first thing when I woke up...not anymore. Starting today...I read my Bible first. So my day should look like this: wake up, hit the snooze button, turn off alarm, go to the bathroom, wash hands, read Bible, spend time in prayer, blog....and so on. If I do this everyday at the same time and in the same order it should end up being a habit.

So each day I will blog my thoughts on life in general, what I am learning and about what I read in the Bible that day. I used to journal a little bit but I find typing so much easier...lazy indeed. 

Today I read from Galatians 3. So far I am not a huge fan of the book. Probably because I just finished reading the book of Mark and I found Jesus so fascinating in how he acts and reacts toward people. Anyway I am going to stick it out and finish Galatians knowing there is some good stuff to learn in it. 

Chapter 3 is all about how the Galatians (and us) are saved by having faith in Jesus as opposed to following the law. Sometimes I am still confused about why God put the law into existence in the first place..but Galatians 3 says that it existed to point us to Christ when the right time came (vs. 19 & 24) 

I guess this chapter didn't teach me too much because we don't really live in a time where we think about the law much since we're taught about faith in Jesus now and not about the law. But one verse that really stuck out for me was this:

"You are all sons (and daughters) of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ." (vs. 26)

What stuck out to me was the clothed with Christ part. Everyday we get up and clothe ourselves. If people look at me, they can clearly see my clothes. They may not pay attention to my clothes but they can see that I am wearing clothes and if they want to pay attention will notice what type of clothes I am wearing, what colour, style, etc. If I clothe myself with Christ..people should notice. This should be all they see on me. 

So the question remains...do I clothe myself with Christ daily? I would like to but I know I haven't been. One good start is by choosing to read my Bible and getting to know Jesus better.

Until tomorrow.....