JUNE 18, 2014 - DAY 8

Today has been one of the hardest days to "be still and know that I am God" or to just be still in general.

My alarm went off at 6 AM and I was in no mood to get up. I went to bed late last night (as I seem to be doing again today) and so I figured I'll do my hour while Jace naps. Well I tried. Then I fell asleep. So I thought I'd have to do it in the evening when he is asleep. But I told my friend I would Skype with her. So my hour was interrupted and all over the place. I'm SO thankful I got to talk to my friend but having to do my hour over a few periods of tries is hard.

I listened to a sermon today (the last of 4 in a series) and it sounded good. Truthfully I didn't get much out of it because I was so scattered and tired. But I tried.

I feel hopeless. If this is how my hours are going to be with God, it almost seems useless. I think 6AM really is the best time for me to sit down. As long as Jace doesn't wake up early and as long as I can stay awake, it's definitely the best time.

So what did I get out of today? Not much. The sermon reminded me of all the Christians being persecuted all over the world and how much they need to suffer. I was also reminded of the fact that Satan hates me and is looking to destroy me. I've never thought about the devil hating me. Because hate is such a strong word. But of course it makes sense. But when I heard the pastor say Satan hates me, it was different then how I've always viewed Satan. I don't know why since I know he is absolutely evil and wants to destroy me. I think I got a real sense of how dark he is. I'm not sure. Anyway it was a good reminder. The pastor showed a video of a lion eating a deer (I think) and how we're like the deer and Satan is the lion. The lion doesn't care he rips the deer to shreds. He or she just does. I thought about finding a video and putting it up...but it would be too difficult for me to watch so I won't subject you to it.

Tomorrow is another day. Perhaps tomorrow will be better. Do I feel any closer to God because of today? No. But I had a few good reminders.