This morning I got up early to spend time with God. I am giving a testimony at a church today and feel totally unprepared. How could God use me? Did I do enough? As if what I say has anything to do with it. The reality is that I could give the best testimony ever and there could be no change in people's hearts. It's up to the Holy Spirit to change people.
Anyway as I was praying and feeling like a total failure and like I have nothing to offer, God told me to just worship him. Instead of focusing on all of the sins in my life that I need to get rid of (like the pride, judgement, control, etc etc etc) to rather focus on him. The more I focus on him, the more I'll become like him. The more I'll see me for how God sees me. Because I'll start to understand who God is and by knowing who God is, I'll know who I am too.
Even though I have such a religious spirit sometimes, God is good. I hope one day I TOTALLY 'get it' and no longer do things in a religious way. I want to live in the total freedom that Jesus offers me.
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