Jesus is always after our heart. He doesn't want us to do the right thing unless our heart is changed and we choose to do the right thing. If we're just doing the right thing to please God or appease him, we're in the wrong.
So do we run when he wants to deal with the hard stuff? I often do. I can busy myself with religious duties, like daily devotions, church work, feeding the homeless, etc. but keep God at an arms length. How is it that I use him to push him away?
Do I genuinely have affection toward God? Do I love him? Do I want to serve him? Do I want to follow him? OR do I just want to keep him at an arms length and say how much is enough before getting uncomfortable. I think the reality is that I keep him away and do "as much as I need to" without having to change my heart.
Here's where I get confused though. After listening to a sermon tonight on this very topic, I decided to sit down and actually talk to God about all of this. Because if I don't....I can easily walk away and busy myself. The conclusion I came to is that I can't change my own heart. I can't muster up affection for God. I can't be less selfish. So what else can I do but confess and ask for help? I actually don't know. I can't try harder or work harder. God is in the business of changing hearts.
UGH heart work is SO hard. It IS easier to just go on my way and stay the same. But where is the gain?
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