Two years ago, on this day, my brother-in-law was in a bad motorcycle accident. Thankfully he didn't die, but he was left paralysed from the chest down. Two years later he still cannot walk and has little to no movement in his legs. There are numerous reasons why I believe he will be healed. For starters, God told my sister-in-law to trust Him in Michael's healing. Many family members have had dreams and visions of him standing up and being healed. So I trust it to be true. But as time goes on....I start to trust less and less.
I used to pray for Michael a lot. I prayed for his healing, I prayed for his marriage and for his well being. Now I don't pray nearly as often. I think mostly because I just think either God will heal him or he won't. Why does my prayers matter. Will it hasten healing? Do my prayers matter? Will God REALLY heal him?
Since today marks 2 years, the situation was on my mind a lot today. One thing God asked me today was:
"If Michael stood up right now and was fully healed, how would you be different from these past 2 years?" Would I be more like Jesus? Obviously I want a situation change. I want to see Michael healed. But has my heart changed through this process?
I think in every situation in life, especially the big life events, we can allow them to shape us more like Jesus or not. In this case, I think I've changed some things, but maybe my heart hasn't changed.
Since Michael was injured, I've turned to the Bible a lot to see what it says about healing. My mind set about healing has definitely changed in the last 2 years. I also took a healing course and went on a mission trip because of Michael's accident. But these things didn't change my heart. So my mind has changed, but my heart? I don't know. I don't know that I am more like Jesus because of this situation and that makes me sad. How have I wasted 2 years that could of been life-changing.
Anyway, it was a good reminded today that I need to be coming to God more often about Michael. It was also a good reminder that I can be more like Jesus through this process. I don't know how yet, but I will take some time to ponder that and see what the Holy Spirit says.
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