I listened to an interview today about practising God's presence. I often hear this phrase and wonder what it means. Apparently we're always in God's presence but it doesn't always feel like it. What does it feel like to be in his presence and know it?? I don't really know. A few times I have felt God in a physical form as a wind. These times were so precious to me. Who am I that God would reveal himself to me in this way? But other than that, I don't know what it's like.
In the interview, both people talked about how they feel God's presence. One talked about how when she is in God's presence she never wants to leave. She could stay there forever. Um what is this like??? The other person talked about when he was a pastor, often he'd show up at work and the presence of God was so thick in his office that he would spend 12 hours no problem just him and God, praying to God. WHAT? What the heck? What does this mean???
So first of all, I have to fight off jealousy. Obviously I'd love to experience what these 2 people experience. Secondly I have to fight off lies. It's hard to believe that God would allow me to experience this. But God DOES want a deeper relationship with me. I can experience his presence. It may not look like it did for these 2 people, but it can and will happen in whatever form God chooses.
So I spent the evening listening to worship music and laying on the ground. I imagined where Jesus would be if he was physically in the room. I decided that we would likely be laying down together and snuggling. It would be intimate but not in a sexual way. Anyway, I spent about 30 minutes doing this until I was interrupted by my sick son. It felt nice for sure but I still long for more. What are the two people talking about? Will I ever experience God to the degree they have? Do I need to do something to get to that place or is it all by God's grace? I don't know. All I know is that I have to believe that God DOES want an intimate relationship with me and does want me to experience his presence.
AUGUST 23, 2014 -
Today I was reading more of Luke. Jesus is such an interesting guy. I love this story:
Jesus Raises a Widow’s Son (Luke 7:11-17)
11 Soon afterward, Jesus went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a large crowd went along with him. 12 As he approached the town gate, a dead person was being carried out—the only son of his mother, and she was a widow. And a large crowd from the town was with her. 13 When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her and he said, “Don’t cry.”
14 Then he went up and touched the bier they were carrying him on, and the bearers stood still. He said, “Young man, I say to you, get up!” 15 The dead man sat up and began to talk, and Jesus gave him back to his mother.
16 They were all filled with awe and praised God. “A great prophet has appeared among us,” they said. “God has come to help his people.” 17 This news about Jesus spread throughout Judea and the surrounding country.
I've never really paid attention to this story before. I mean I've read it but other than the fact that Jesus raises somebody from the dead, it didn't stand out. Today, it wasn't about the fact that Jesus raises somebody from the dead. Today it was about the fact that "When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her..." What compassion. She didn't come to him. In his everyday life of going from city to city, he saw her and had compassion on her. He went to her not the other way around.
This lady had no husband and now no son. She would have no source of income. Jesus not only had compassion on her because she lost a loved one but because of her status in their culture at that time. He gave her back her loved one and her ability to survive.
Jesus is truly beautiful.
And to end this post, off topic - I was praying tonight over my tail bone because it has been in a lot of pain. I could probably see a chiropractor and have ti fixed within a few visits (I think??) but I don't know for sure. ANYWAY, my tail bone isn't fully healed yet but after I prayed and moved on I rolled over and my hip bone or something popped loudly and went back into place. And now it feels a whole lot better. YAY! Thank you God. I shall keep contending for full healing.
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