Today I read a chapter in the book "The End of Religion" about Christian history and our major mistakes as a 'religion'. This includes all the murders throughout the crusades, the inquisition, witch hunting, etc. Of course Christians did this all "in the name of Jesus". The sad part is, they really did think they were doing the right thing.
So I'm happy to report, that although we made some major mistakes back in the day, we're not killing like we used to. NOW that being said....Jesus did say "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgement.’" - Matthew 5:21. Instead of looking at Christianity as a whole and blaming everybody else, I chose to look at my own life. Where am I not following Jesus' commands.
Matthew 5:43-47 - “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?'"
I looked at these verses and wondered if I could genuinely bless my enemies. Because I still hold onto anger and resentment to people who have hurt me in the past and these are not my enemies. So how can I bless REAL enemies. Obviously I have a long way to go. I don't want to be a Christian who is bitter. I want to follow Jesus. I want to love my enemies. I want to be willing to die for them. I was Jesus' enemy when he died for me, so I need to love my enemies too. I need to let go of my bitterness and judgement and anger toward those who have said or done hurtful things. Why do I need to hold onto this anger? It's not hurting those I'm angry at anyway, it's only hurting me.
So when God brought up people who I need to forgive and to let go of my anger toward, I prayed and asked God for help. Because I can't do it on my own strength. I'm too upset. Honestly I'm not sure if I've genuinely forgiven these people or not. Something tells me not yet. But as I work toward it, hopefully God will help me to release this because I want to be able to follow Jesus' commands.
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